Gridiron Guacamole

I might be going a little crazy with this but it could have been worse -- I once saw a gridiron made out of alfalfa sprouts with two teams of crudites arrayed on top, a mushroom cap fading back for a pass.

Then I wasted a lot of time watching "Ugly Betty," "Grey's Anatomy" and "Men in Trees" before deciding I really needed some goalposts on the field. But it was too late to go out for pretzel sticks and Cheez Whiz, I had to make do with what was on hand. The celery didn't work at all no matter how flat I planed it. And the peanut butter as glue didn't hold up as it warmed to room temperature. Finally, some fast work with a cracker and frozen peanut butter.